Bob’s Empty House

****Guest Article by Andy Mac***

Those of you of a certain age (and I include myself in that) will have grown up with, and remember with fondness, the great Bob Monkhouse. I first became aware of Bob at the age of seven, watching a new quiz series he had begun hosting called ‘Family Fortunes’. Broadcast on a Sunday night, it pitted two families against each other to see who could win the most points based on a series of questions garnered from public surveys. At the time, I had developed an interest in numerous silent film stars – the likes of Harold Lloyd, Buster Keaton and Mary Pickford. Being a voracious reader of children’s encyclopaedias, it didn’t take me long to discover that Bob Monkhouse had a notable collection of silent films, as well as being a one-time presenter of a programme examining this genre called ‘Mad Movies’. As my teenage years arrived, Bob Monkhouse became one of my favourite celebrities. He had a phenomenal intellect, a suave presentational manner, quick repartee, and was born just a couple of miles down the road from where I grew up. Like fellow actors James Cossins and John Bennett, Bob Monkhouse was a native of Beckenham, south east London.

Aside from his TV career, Bob Monkhouse was also a touring stand-up comedian. His act off screen act was, shall we say, of a considerably bawdier nature than viewers of his many TV appearances (‘Bob’s Full House’, ‘Celebrity Squares’, ‘The Big Breakfast’, etc.) were used to. Nevertheless, people loved him for his comedy timing, his no holds barred lampooning, and that twinkle in his eye that only some TV personalities possess. He was a tour de force of British television from the 1960s to the 1990s.

Thus, I was pleased to hear that a book containing some of his best jokes, famously at the centre of a theft in the 1990s, was due to feature on the BBC programme ‘The Repair Shop’. I was equally saddened and angered when I discovered the book had been returned to his daughter unrepaired (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn43ve4pyjeo) and the episode cancelled by the production team. At first I thought it was because the book was too fragile to actually restore, or that it had been covered in anthrax that would prove fatal to anyone who handled it. But no. The licence-payers of the Corporation were denied the opportunity to see the book being given a new lease of life because……wait for it……it contained some jokes of a ‘sexist’ nature deemed inappropriate to be broadcast on daytime television. The concept of editing must have slipped their tiny minds. A bit of sexism; some mild racism; a bit of alpha male banter; mother-in-law denigration; a hefty dose of sexual references: These are all the essential ingredients of belly-laughing comedy, and those performers of yesteryear who were most beloved by the British public were those, like Bob Monkhouse, who had all these attributes off to a fine art.

My use of the term ‘yesteryear’ is deliberate. For where is the actual comedy these days? When you sit down and think about it, you realise we’re living in an age where to be allowed to laugh is almost a privilege. Modern comedians platformed by the BBC are so weak, if their repertoire was a cup of tea it wouldn’t pass muster in a prison canteen! As for situation comedies, forget it. A talent we in the UK once reigned supreme in, has evaporated into thin air along with all the other cultural and social pleasures that made our childhoods so much more fulfilling than these appalling times today’s youth have to endure.

Let me tell you how it is for me. I usually arrive home from work around 6:30pm. I have my tea and digest as much of the news as my brain will allow before the serotonin starts draining away. I then turn over to one of the many Freeview comedy channels and, for the remainder of the night, I amuse myself with programmes such as ‘Rising Damp’, ‘Some Mother’s Do ‘Ave ‘Em’, ‘Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?’, ‘Steptoe and Son’, ‘Keeping Up Appearances’, ‘Birds of a Feather’, ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ and ‘One Foot in the Grave’. My extensive DVD collection also allows me to watch such priceless gems as ‘Only Fools and Horses’, ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Porridge’ and ‘Open All Hours’ on a regular basis.

What do all these wonderful comedy programmes have in common, aside from being side-splittingly funny? They’re all over 30 years old! Sadly, you can forget about anything even remotely comparable coming down the track anytime soon. For comedy, at its essence, is all about pushing boundaries. And, as we now have so many in TV production rooms who spend every waking moment trying to prevent a single viewer from finding offence in something, there’s no avenue for any potential young comedy writer to explore. Why waste your talents on creating a great sit-com script, only to have it dismissed out-of-hand by some soy-swilling, yoghurt-bodied, halo-polishing pillock at the BBC!? If not rejected outright, it would certainly be expurgated to the point where the shining moments of hilarity become meaningless. It’s far better to savour the comedy genius of the 60s, 70’s, 80s and 90s which, for all their ‘warnings’ about potential offence, still appeal to millions who had the pleasure of growing up with them the first time around.

Have a look at this fantastic clip from Hale and Pace

Absolutely first class! You can tell from the comments below the clip which were written by people of my generation and which were the thoughts of the younger snowflakes. For many of today’s under-30s have lost something we took for granted: the ability to see nuance and hidden meaning in comedy. These days, all young folk look for are various ‘isms’ so they can roll their eyes and feign indignation. It’s pathetic! I think history will look upon those born in the second-half of the 20th Century as some of the luckiest in human history. A significant part of that will be the access we had to a rich seam of comedy that perhaps future generations will not appreciate, or even understand. How bloody tragic!