Snow Woke

Trump was right when he famously observed that “everything that’s woke turns to sh*t” so let’s talk about Snow White the Remake.

The media reports that the world premiere for the Snow White remake has been relocated to a remote castle in Spain after Disney were forced to 'scale back' the promo amid backlash against its woke themes and stars Rachel Zegler and Gal Gadot.

Film bosses had originally planned to stage a glittering Hollywood soiree worthy of the staggering $269.4million spent on making the movie - with events planned in Los Angeles, London and around the world.

Yet amid a series of scandals and PR nightmares surrounding the remake, Disney scaled back the planned lavish premieres to a 'handful' of tightly controlled Press events. Why are Disney SO fearful of letting the media see their movie.

In the original, as all of us know, Snow White’s story revolves around finding true love, culminating in the prince’s kiss awakening her. OMG! The remake reimagines her as a character focused on leadership and independence. Actress Rachel Zegler has emphasised that this Snow White is "not going to be saved by the prince" and is instead "dreaming about becoming the leader she knows she can be." This shift prioritises feminist themes of agency and self-reliance over traditional romantic narratives, in short it is the tedious "girl boss" ideology.

The casting of Zegler, who is of Colombian and Polish descent, as Snow WHITE has been a focal point of contention. The character, named for her "skin as white as snow" in the Brothers Grimm tale and depicted as pale in the 1937 film, is now portrayed by a Latina actress. Disney has framed this as part of its commitment to diversity.

Now the Seven Dwarfs were ALWAYS going to be a problem for Woke Disney and so it replaces the traditional seven dwarfs with a group of "magical creatures" portrayed by a diverse, mostly non-dwarf cast, including varied ethnicities and genders, with only one actor with dwarfism. This change, we are told, is about avoid reinforcing outdated tropes. (Don’t Dwarfs exist anymore?)

Zegler has publicly critiqued the 1937 film, calling its focus on a "stalker" prince and a passive Snow White "weird" and outdated. She is on record saying that “People are making these jokes about ours being the PC Snow White... yeah, it is - because it needed that. Our version is a refreshing story about a young woman who has a function beyond Someday My Prince Will Come.'

The remake removes the non-consensual kiss which is now seen as virtual rape and reframes the story to align with liberal contemporary views on consent and gender roles.

The orginal Snow White came out in 1937 and was the first animated feature film produced in the United States. Over the years, it became known as a classic that generations of kids have enjoyed. Despite initial doubts from the film industry, it was a critical and commercial success, with international earnings of more than $8 million during its initial release against a $1.5 million budget, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1938, and briefly holding the record of the highest-grossing sound film of all time. It was also the highest-grossing animated film for 55 years.

I am confident that this new Snow Woke will be a pale shadow of the original, pun intended.