We’ve Achieved Acceptance - So Why Are We Still Acting Like We Haven’t?

**Guest article by Matthew Toomer**

In 2025, being gay in Britain is unremarkable, and that’s a sign of how far we’ve come. People live openly, work openly, and are largely accepted without drama or debate. It’s not headline news anymore, nor should it be. Equality was the goal. And in many ways, we’ve reached it.

So why, then, are we still acting like we haven’t? Walk through any major town or city and you’ll see rainbow flags draped across government buildings, trains painted in Pride livery, public institutions updating their logos in bright stripes. What started as a campaign for visibility has now become theatre, and when you question the need for it, you’re swiftly shown the door.

I know this because it happened to me. Until recently, I volunteered with West Midlands Railway as part of their community rail programme. My role was to make rail stations more appealing and encourage and promote sustainable transport, working with the public to build positive engagement around rail use. That role naturally involved interaction with the public. It was during that engagement that people began to ask me whether I had anything to do with the decision to paint a train in Pride colours. I told them the truth, no, I didn’t, and added that personally, I didn’t think it was necessary. I was honest and polite. I fed that feedback back to the train company. But they didn’t appreciate my opposition to the narrative.

I was labelled “awkward,” “untrustworthy” made to feel unwelcome, and removed from my role entirely. The Telegraph and GB News later covered the story, but the message was clear: do not question, do not deviate, do not dissent. That isn’t progress. That’s suppression.

Now, some might raise an eyebrow at the idea of a gay man pushing back against all this branding and spectacle. But let’s be clear: this isn’t pushing back, it’s getting fed up. I accepted myself a long time ago. I don’t need a logo or a train to validate who I am. And I don’t need a flag on every lamppost to feel seen. In fact, I find this constant performative campaigning awkward, overblown, and, dare I say it, a little embarrassing. If people truly accepted themselves, they wouldn’t need the world to clap every time they walked into the room. The louder the performance, the more it looks like insecurity, not pride.

We’ve gone from seeking equality to demanding constant validation. But acceptance doesn’t mean everyone must celebrate you. In a free society, people are entitled to disagree. They’re entitled to feel uncomfortable. They’re entitled to say, “I’m not sure we need a rainbow police car.” That isn’t hate, it’s opinion. And the right to hold and express one’s opinion must go both ways. Being gay is a small, private part of who someone is. And yet it’s being broadcast as if it should define everything. Identity has become a campaign.

Visibility has become branding. And the endless push for affirmation doesn’t encourage understanding, it invites fatigue. Most people in Britain no longer care what you are, but they do care when you make it the only thing you talk about. The real test of equality is this: can you live your life without needing to constantly remind people what you are? If so, maybe the most powerful thing a gay person can do in 2025… is simply get on with life like everyone else.

If you want to read more from Matt, visit his X account @RealMattToomer